Each time you visit the park you can come in a different way. Most people use the hidden passages in graves or in the woods, but we also recommend the front and back entrances. For first-time or unwitting guests, we suggest the more subtle entrances designed to get you lost in the park without realizing you've entered. In one of our favorites you're driving down a worn-out rural highway, your car breaks down and when you go for help you get lost on a decrepit farm or in a maze of tombs. There are others ways to enter but we won't give away the surprise.

Bucketheadland is divided into five 'loafs' or 'lands.' Right in the dead center of the park is the largest loaf, the CEMETERY. It's an enormous necropolis modelled after the city of Colma, California where the dead outnumber the living. Here Buckethead plays to an audience of statues and grave markers specially aligned to create otherworldly acoustic effects. Go on a graverobbing adventure or watch our diggers exhume old rides from other amusement parks to cannibalize for ours. Explore the crematorium, the crypts and the mausoleums. There are hidden tunnels and musty catacombs that lead to some of the park's best rides like Buckethead's Inferno. On the outskirts of the cemetery is the popular Ed Gein's Snack Shack which we would not recommend due to possible health code violations.

Now we go from stone to metal. ROBOTLAND is home to the famous Giant Robot ride where Johnny, Buckethead and GR battle the wicked Emperor Guillatine. At the Robotland Factory you can build your own giant robot or add robot parts to yourself. Robotland is also the best place to spot bucketbots - friendly little guys who help Buckethead. You'll hear the clank clank clank of their feet as they march to work or do a jig or an impromptu parade. A lot of times Buckethead's nemesis Slipdisc will send his wicked robots straight to Robotland so it's there you'll see Buckethead dismantle robots using the most violent sound frequencies ever invented. Earplugs recommended.

Wedged between Robotland and the Cemetery is a realistic replica of the coop where Buckethead grew up. It's like you've stepped out of Buckethead's fantasy life right into his traumatic past. Sometimes you can hear him playing inside or see a light on at night. Is that really him? Be careful not to climb up the ladder or scare the chickens. If you see Maximum Bob don't let him scare you, you can get your picture taken with him. Or you can wander down the hill to a working drive-in theater just like the one from Buckethead's childhood.

But if you're nosing around and you hear the hollowing wind or the bleating of possessed farm animals then you must have wandered onto The Haunted Farm and that means you're in the SLAUGHTER ZONE. That's where we keep all the most dangerous rides that made us famous. Some of the rides are liable to go off the tracks and you never know where you'll end up or in how many pieces.

Attractions like Cattle Prod, Sterling Scapula are your best bet for losing a head or a part. Please feel free to visit our complimentary first aid tent (limit 200 stitches per customer per visit). We cannot guarantee bodily harm for every guest but we have the highest beheading and de-limbing rates of any theme park in the continental United States (documents available for listening at the Hall of Broken Records on Grab Bag Alley). Please check on and below the seat to make sure you have all of your body parts before exiting the vehicle.

At this time the other Loafs may not be discussed outside of the Bucketheadland premises. Thank you for your understanding in this sensitive matter.

NEXTHOME